A colleague in my office was online dating as well. But we had two very distinctive styles and approaches in our dating adventures.
I always insisted to “go Dutch” and pay my share for a meal or the tab in a bar.
However, that colleague was a bit different. I really think that she was dating just for the kick of it and taking advantage of the free drinks and meals. And she was always insisted in meeting them on the best places in NYC, and the more expensive rooftops in the City. I guess she visited them all for free with her dating habits.
At some point, she was telling me about a nice Doctor (specialized in Organic Chemistry). She met with him 2 or 3 times already but she told me that she wasn’t interested because he wasn’t “her style”. She is a very good looking woman, tall, blond and slim. She told me that he was not tall enough and a too old for her. The mystery on why she needed 2-3 dates before realizing that he was too short and too old remains…
As you can see, she’s very picky but I wondered why she met him 2-3 times and ready to meet him again, just to dump him if she wasn’t interested? Well, free drinks, free meal, hey freeloader!
Then she was ready to “dump him” and asked me if I was interested because he was so nice… so she showed me his dating profile. Well, am I interested in your leftovers cute Lady? Probably not. I looked at his profile and told her that he was really not my style.
In the meantime, she met him another time, another free dinner, just to tell him that she wasn’t interested and she had the brilliant idea to show him MY profile and asked him if he was interested in meeting me. That poor guy. He had high expectations with her and after 3-4 dates, and she was kicking him out and offering him an alternative. Hello?? Of course, that poor man had the same response than I did “Not my style”.
It was a beautiful Summer day and with a few colleagues, we decided to go for a day on the beach. She was with us. At some point, I remembered that she told me months before that this man had a Beach house in that exact area. She didn’t… I told her: “Remember Mr. J. that you briefly dated? His beach house is right here, in this area”. Not ashamed for a minute, she decided to text him and told him that she was right there. I was feeling SO embarrassed.
That poor guy responded and came to us. We went to his house to use the bathroom, he brings us a beach chair to each of us, he was SO nice and charming!
They chatted for a while but I was sitting a bit further because one of our colleagues was there with two young beautiful but loud kids and I wanted to relax, so I wasn’t’ sitting close to the group. At some point, I walked near the ocean to get some breeze and suddenly, he was beside me and started chatting with me.
When I returned to my chair, he took his chair and came sitting with me and we spent the rest of that afternoon together. We chatted for a long time and he was very interesting and funny and we exchange phone numbers.
We all left the beach to get back in the City and while on the ferry, he sent me all his contacts, at home, email, etc.
I’ve met him a couple of times after this day. We were able to talk openly about my colleague sad behavior and his feelings about it. Together, we went for lunches, dinners, movies, I was even invited twice at his beach house for weekends and even if “he’s not my style” and “I’m not his style”, each time, we had a good time!
Lesson learned. Always be kind, honest and true!