I’ve met this man 18 months ago. He’s looking nice, very funny but the distance is an issue. It’s not that far but it can make a difference. It’s not easy to improvise a last minute date when you’re living almost two hours from each other.
However, he’s working two blocks from me, so for the first time, we’ve met for a coffee near our offices. We chatted quite a while and he was interesting.
We talked about our actual lives and our past and while he was talking about his first wife, his kids, and his past, I saw his face expressions when he started to talk about the second love in his life. His eyes were bright and he was smiling telling me about their story. To me, it was so clear that he was still in love with her.
I’m a very open woman but I would never ever date a man who is already in love with someone else. It’s a lost cause.
I kept quiet on that day and I continued to see him regularly but just as friends, as we were both in agreement about not being a good match as a “couple”. We went to the beach, we saw shows together, we had regular lunch on weekdays, etc.
At some point, I opened up and told him that I knew why he wasn’t able to find a nice date and that it was crystal clear to me that he was still in love with his ex. He was totally surprised. He asked me why I thought so and I told him. Then, he told me that his family members and his friends never suspected that and that he was very surprised that I was able to see it. Well, life experience maybe? Gut feelings?
Anyhow. I continue to this day to see him, as a good friend, and regularly. I highly appreciate him, he’s very nice to talk to, he’s funny and we have a good time together.
However, I’m not dumb. I will never date a man who is in love with someone else, even remotely. Self-destruction in not my thing 😉